Using sex toys in a relationship

For some reason, there is a misconception that using sex toys in a relationship is a bad thing. I really don’t know why, but some relationships just can’t work when toys are introduced, and it saddens me to think about this. 

Sex toys are designed to bring you pleasure. They’re expertly crafted to bring you to the edge, and in many cases, take you past it, resulting in powerful orgasms that you couldn’t necessarily achieve without them. And there’s a reason there is such a huge number of toys available and why the industry is so big. 

Sex toys work. In most cases, they work well and get you to your end goal in a very satisfactory way indeed. Although some toys may just not quite do it for you, whether that be because they aren’t shaped quite right, don’t reach the right spots, aren’t the desired quality or just simply don’t tingle the bits you want them to, nine times out of ten, you’re going to get a great deal of fun and excitement from using vibrators, cock rings and many other devices aimed at enhancing your bedroom adventures.

I’ve heard people say “sex toys are only for people who aren’t in a relationship”. To that, I answer “Why?”. Why must we shut away our sexual desires and bin our favourite toys, just because we are in a relationship? Are we suddenly cheating on our partners if we use a toy during sex? 

Sex toys are inanimate objects. They have no feelings, desires or personality. They are “things” we use to get ourselves or each other off. Yet I’ve heard cases of people trapped in relationships where their male partners won’t let them use a sex toy by threatening to leave if they do. 

I cannot wrap my mind around this concept, no matter how hard I try. 

Are these men jealous of the fact that the toy is pleasuring their partner? How can you be jealous of something so petty? Why would you not be pleased that she is happy and enjoying herself? 

Sex toys can be added to a relationship to enhance it. A rabbit isn’t a replacement for a boyfriend, and I feel that some of these men that I’ve been told about just don’t see this. 

I worry that they feel emasculated by the fact their partner is being pleasured by a sex toy. I worry, not for him, but for the concept of this idea, and for how widespread the issue really is. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with using a sex toy, so never, ever, feel bad about using one. Whether using them solo, in a couple or even in a group, inside or outside of a relationship, savour the pleasure that these products can bring and enjoy the exploration of new and intimate fantasies. 

If you’re just starting to bring toys into your relationship, here are some tips.

Communicate
It’s a great idea to discuss with your partner what time of experiences you want to share together. Maybe they want something to insert. Maybe you’re looking for something to buzz and vibrate. 

Whatever you’re looking for, you can put together a shopping list and gradually build up your naughty toy box as you go along.